High Speed? I Beg to Differ

*Sigh*  Here I go, whining about poor service again.  And this time, it involves my cable company.  Now there's a shocker! 

Cox Communications is our cable provider, and we get digital cable TV from them, as well as high speed Internet.  On Wednesday evening, I came home to find that neither my TV or my Internet were functioning.  So I dug out my last bill, to make certain I was paid up (I was), and found the phone number to call for support.  After navigating my way through the automated attendant, and then holding for ten minutes, I was at last connected to JC, who was my support rep.  (Before going any further, let me also say that Cox has a cute way of having their reps answer the phone.  Instead of identifying themselves and asking how they can help, they instead identify themselves and say "I can help you."  Wellllllll... it's nice to think so, but it is not always the truth.  Can you see where I'm going with this?)

So I told JC my problems with TV and Internet, but before saying anything, he needed to confirm my account.  So he asked my name, my address, the name of the person who set up the account (my wife), and then, the kicker - for security purposes, he needed to know the last four digits of my wife's Social Security number.  Well, call me an inattentive husband, but it shames me to say, I do not know off hand my wife's Social Security number.  And this turned out to be a boulder in the road which prevented me from getting any sort of response from JC.  So, after realizing that my pleas were not getting me anywhere, and that JC had a script that he was NOT going to stray from, I asked to speak to a supervisor.  Seven minutes later, JC returned, and verbally handed me off to his supervisor, who told me the same thing: No last four digits of my wife's SSN, no service.  Well, as my luck would have it, the missus was traveling on business, and not immediately available to provide me with her SSN.  I pleaded with the supervisor, appealed to his sense of judgment and fair play.  However, he wasn't getting off of his script, either.  He acknowledged that is must be frustrating, but stuck to his story that he could not help me until I came up with those last four digits.

*Sigh*  There is a lesson here for all of us.  The lesson for self-involved husbands like myself was to keep the wife's SSN handy, 'cus ya never know when you might need it.

The lesson for Cox Communications is, when setting up an account for a household, maybe something other than one spouse's SSN could be used for security purposes.  Now, don't get me wrong, I understand the need for security.  I wouldn't want an agent from the Axis of Evil to weasel his way into our cable account and cancel my HBO, thus inflicting a serious wound into my American way of life.  But maybe a pet's name, or maybe a birth date, maybe a hometown, mother's maiden name, perhaps... Something that might give another family member half a chance at unlocking the golden door of service at the cable provider.  I mean, what am I gonna do without TV and Internet?  Read a book???

   -- Chuck Dennis